He’s quiet and i like to talk..Who’s more real?

……And so we were at this gathering, where we had to do some brainstorming to arrive at some key decisions; and there was this sharp dude, who seems to know so much and boldly assertive about it too. You should have seen his confidence, even with sometimes “nonsense” points! Please pardon me on this.  It was indeed an herculean effort trying to ignore his presence.

Across same room, was this quiet soul, nodding admiringly at every word from this dude like a woman ravishing in the handsomeness of her prince charming!! I was smiling too. I mean, who wouldn’t like to be entertained…and that for free! It was an experience that gave me the inspiration for this gist.

In any gathering, there are always those who are heard. They make their points known and their faces may just be the face of the group!

There is nothing wrong with that. What is not so right about it, is the general belief that those who maybe loudest in the group and get themselves known, are the people who are being real. And so to make case against Authenticity, some would argue that real people are always too loud and fear losing themselves out of their quietness before they can be real. No, that is not true at all, unless we deny our differences and the many ways we choose to express our individualism.

There are those who are quiet and listeners, who talk more within themselves than with others. If they have recognized themselves this way, and act in like manner, as long as they are not retrieving out of fear or intimidation, they are just as real as anyone else. These people are major supporters and are mainly found in the back office. They are expressing their Authentic self as any other show man; the way they do it is what differs.

One beautiful part of our humanity is our uniqueness. This is something that should not be taken away from us. If we are all the same, and talk, eat, dress and maybe even sleep in similar manner, wouldn’t life be so boring and mundane? I am sure at some point in our lives, we all get bored of that lack of variety and spontaneity. I do!

I must confess that i sometimes prefer that we disagree. I realized that i learn more from the other person’s point of reasoning and also get to know them more than i would have, had we just agreed immediately. Hey, i don’t like trouble o! But some of it, sometimes, can be good!! And ain’t nothing wrong with us always in agreement either!!!

If Henry as the cool and very calm dude is more admired than the very visible and “sharp-guy” Paul, it doesn’t really mean that Henry is of better personality than Paul and vice versa. it only shows their differences in personality and not a case of one being more righteous than the other. People start to conform based on this judgement. I think we like that idea of being known as the quiet type, something society sometimes refer to as being the good one. Well, not all of us share in that opinion. For some of us, we are moved by what you do than how you may appear to be. Charm is at its best, still deceptive!

We think if we are the talking type, may be viewed as the more quarrelsome, and so in a bid to appear as well behaved, Paul may hide his authentic extroverted self to settle for the introverted personality of Henry. Here, is where we to lose it really. Whether at work or at home and being compared to our siblings. It is the root of conformity and reason we cannot be our Authentic self.

We are all in our real self, the best. One must be quiet and another talking so we have what to listen to. Some must be watching and some others doing the show, otherwise who gets to buy tickets to see the show, anyway? The real gist then, is that you know you and be you. That is the natural process that will always get the system balanced, and you, fulfilled.

#Be You, its your best gift to us
Joy Iseki

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