HOW LOVING YOURSELF CAN SAVE YOU

HOW LOVING YOURSELF CAN SAVE YOU
January 8, 2018 Joy Iseki

With the recent high rates of suicides globally, one must no longer keep mute about self-acceptance and the idea of people loving and accepting who they are, especially about embracing their story, as much of their mental and emotional health depends on this.

You may be wondering how self love is related to suicide. Well, studies have shown that a lot of suicide cases were due to shame. Some of the victims had shame about their experiences, and about who they were. One of the things self acceptance helps us do is embracing even the most shameful aspect of our darkness, and accepting it as part of our life, which can help counter the shameful feelings. This is part of the reason I’ve always emphasised on the importance of self love that is founded on the acceptance of self. Any other may just be mere cliche or some narcissistic turn on.

The idea of self love isn’t to be lost in self, as it is common among self promoters, but to be loving to self in a way that boost self image such that it leads you to also loving other people appropriately.

How can you be saved through self love?

For quite some time, this was my reoccurring personal thoughts. I would wonder how I could contribute to helping just one person love himself enough to not want to end his life, irrespective of how life may have happened to him. Then I would think about how people loved to take care of the things they truly love. Then I thought if they could love themselves, then it would translate to them loving their lives, and maybe that would help them want to take care of it and not kill it. I don’t think anyone of us would intentionally destroy that which we love. Would you? This is why it’s important that you love yourself. Self love here becomes a life saver.

I once lived in a town where I heard a young undergraduate took his own life. He had been wrongly accused of what he didn’t do, unable to stand the shame it brought to him, he took his own life.

According to suicide statistics at befrienders.org, “The World Health Organization estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.” Will this rate ever drop? I don’t know. What I do know is that; if more people would embrace their personal life’s stories, and accept it as their own responsibility, taking ownership of it, and caring, and loving it, maybe they would have less time to think about killing themselves. This is my own thought. I assume that the much energy one uses to plan self annihilation can be diverted into transforming self.

Now, you should understand that not loving yourself is not the general cause of suicides because some reasons for suicide itself may only be best understood by the one who committed it. Unfortunately, you never get to see them to know fully. But depression and hopelessly is one major thing that has been found to lead to many suicides.

Since lack of self-acceptance can affect your self-esteem negatively, thus impacting on a poor image of self and making you feel worthless, it becomes clearer how it can put you in a helpless state of despondency, something that could lead to depression.

My concern is how you can reduce hopelessness by the way you can value yourself through self-love, and accepting your life completely regardless of what you’ve been through. That includes all the mess and the mistakes you’ve been through, the unpleasant family background you may not be proud of and all the bad things said about you and done to you. This is important because the toughest part of loving yourself can show up in lack of self forgiveness that eventually culminates into shame and guilt.

The process of self love can help you empathize with others who may still be struggling with their own lives, too. Because it can show you how change does take efforts and time, especially when from the outside, it can seem like no effort is being made by the person. This serves you the benefits of being able to put yourself in other people’s shoes.

The awareness of our weaknesses that the journey of self acceptance exposes us to can enable us in being patient and empathetic towards the flaws of others and their own journey.  This aids your capacity to forgive and live in harmony with other people.

One can see that if self love is rightly practiced, it does good to everyone, and therefore should be understood. The misunderstanding of what self love really is can affect how people practice it.

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In my book, BECOMING, I shared more on self love. You can have your copy here

To book for personal self-discovery and self love one-to-one coaching experience with the author, send mail to thekounsellor@gmail.com.

To your successfully evolving life.

JOY ISEKI

#thecounsellor

2 Comments

  1. Ulelu Nnamdi 2 years ago

    so thoughtful, enjoyed every phrase…. Thanks Joy

    • Author
      Joy Iseki 2 years ago

      Glad you found it thoughtful Nnamdi. Thanks you.

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