How to deal with fearful situation

how to deal with fearful situation


“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” —Napoleon Hill

There are many things and people which we fear. It’s part of our humanity to fear these things and people, sometimes.

Because the emotion of fear can be unpleasant, it is only natural for the one experiencing it to try running away from it when it shows up, especially when it involves very difficult emotional matters one would rather not be involved.

In working with individuals around their self-acceptance journey, I’ve seen how often fear is a part of that story. Most of these persons fear their shadows. I’ve since observed how easier it is for us to embrace all the good parts of who we are than admit or even acknowledge our “darkness.” The difficulty arises when in the place of awareness, you are exposed to the truth that there’s also a dark side of yourself. Sometimes these parts bear the issues about the self-loathing, low self-esteem and personal emotional pain you secretly suffer.

Unfortunately, most people would rather just pretend it’s not existing than face it because they fear what they don’t even know.

Is fear a bad thing in any situation? Well, no, and yes!

No, because fear is also part of the human survival traits. Fear only signals to us some perceived dangers that gives the brain the fight or flight mode for action that would lead to one’s protection or safety. This fear had helped humans for centuries to survive here on earth. Because without this signal, we could risk being in danger to the environment we live in and become extinct for lack of survival skills in the face of predators.

When we sense danger around us, the sympathetic nervous system, which serves to expend in the form of physical activities during a life threatening situation is activated. It operates in life threatening situations, especially during emergencies and strenuous activities, by stimulating the adrenal gland for the release of epinephrine or adrenaline. This is the reason we act very fast to protect or fight for our safety during crisis periods even without much thoughts. It is this system that usually enables us to do what we would otherwise not be able to do under emergency situations. Without the feeling of fear to signal danger to the brain, this fight or flight mode wouldn’t be activated.

However, because it is activated, we’re prepared through the sympathetic nervous system to act. This is what has helped humans for centuries to act even in dangerous situations.

Fear is therefore a good deal in this case.

However, fear becomes bad if we deny that we are actually experiencing it or make attempts to escape that we feel fear. Like most emotions, fear is neither good nor bad except how we see it. This is what I’d like you to understand. A situation that seem very unpleasant may actually lead us to fear. But the fear as an emotion isn’t a bad thing unless the way we treat it.

Our goal isn’t to run when we fear a situation, no matter how unpleasant. Our aim should be in thinking of a way out, such that we are also able to deal with the situation. But this isn’t possible unless we first admit our fear, and also acknowledge what is happening aboutthat fear. Then we can seek to understand why we have such fear.

When our mental attitude is geared towards fear this way, it puts us in an empowering situation to act rather than run from the situation.

Remember, we never really finish the fight which we run from, no matter how painful the situation. In fact, we only postponed the day of our deliverance. Nothing would just go away on its own with time. Time only prolongs the situation, never really solving the problem if it’s left unattended to due to fear. In most cases, the longer we fear to face that which we dread about any area of our lives, the more time it lingers, and the worst it can turn out to be. This is where many issues can become psychopathologic.

As humans, we’ve been designed mentally to deal with our issues, no matter how big, whether emotional stuff or otherwise. We have the capacity to actually get unpleasant situations resolved. It’s important you’re aware of this inherent truth about you.

All of us will face certain uncertainties or situations, even persons, which we fear at some point in our life. That’s very clear. It is therefore good that we use this awareness to make up our minds that when it does happen, we would find the resolution rather than chikening out in fear. Because the emotion of fear isn’t our problem. Our running away from such signal is. Fear only serves it’s cautionary purpose, which we can listen to and then take the necessary action until the reasons for our fear is attended to. Herein is where our freedom from the painful situation lies.

If you’d need help in counseling to deal with some fearful situation you’re currently experiencing, send mail to, to book sessions with me online from anywhere in the world. I’ve worked with people from across continents on their emotional issues. Let me help you!

To your successfully evolving life.

Joy Iseki

@thekounsellor (Instagram)

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