“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.”
Crisis period demands so much from us in order to stay in the game of life, especially if we have been used to displaying strength during our toughest fights.
The current pandemic ravaging the world wasn’t an event most futurist had envisaged in anyway.
For almost all of us, it came like a surprise. A terrible one. But, isn’t that how most crisis are? Arriving in lives and places not prepared for them!
When I made up my mind to write this morning, I was thinking of the most appropriate thing to write about that would benefit us this period. I had shared in my last post on how to keep up with our emotional wellness during crisis (please see it here).
In the most challenging period of our lives, such as this, happiness isn’t likely what we’d be thinking about. Our mind is so fixated on the problem, that if we are not careful, some people would even die before the problem actually gets to them, mainly from what they’ve heard about the situation. No wonder people who haven’t had the virus seems more fearful right now.
At least, the one who already has it, becomes more focused on getting out of it. And resorts to becoming solution focused in order to survive it.
The natural tendency we have to run mostly from our problems or talk a lot about it can be a disservice to our mental health when problem arise. Our attempts to take flight from the problem, regardless of the status of the issue; whether it’s resolved or not, leaves us always coming back and fighting what we should have fought in the first place.
I’d like to think it best to face our trouble and do whatever we can at the moment it showed up so we don’t always have to make plans of running from them. Most troubles won’t just go away. They’d wait for us on the day we’re ready to face it. Except, by then, the size of it would have doubled. Talk about double wahala!
This means we shouldn’t die before we contract the virus. If we do, we should face it to fight it and get the victory. A lot of people have done this. Kudos!
The current pandemic have affected our social, emotional and psychological wellbeing in ways we may not be able to totally illustrate. It has changed how we work, eat, play, and do virtually everything in a very short time.
The shock from the sudden changes is causing much sadness among people. Most of the people I’ve spoken with thinks their life have been imprisoned without committing any crime.
It is therefore helpful that we find ways, any good reasonable way, that can help us brighten our moods in the light of all that’s happening.
Too many people look for happiness in the most complex ways. I think happiness is everywhere we can see it. Even present the most during crisis; if only we won’t always look away from current situation in hope for another before we can be happy in the future.
As an emotional wellness coach, I’m a firm believer for ways we can be happy NOW.
During our difficult moments, we sometimes feel guilty about not looking all sad and gloomy. As such, some people who would have had it better managed emotionally, have to pretend to be very sad in order not to appear insensitive.
We have to agree that not everybody is unhappy right now. Despite all the chaos, some good are happening for some people. If we then assume the place of gloominess because we think this is how the world must feel right now, we could be denying ourselves the freedom to choose how we want to feel, even in the crisis.
Besides, happiness isn’t a crime. More so, it is contagious. Your happiness may be what would lighten the next person up, or give them the courage they also need to be happy. Or, rather, to express the happiness inside of them without guilt.
The truth is, we can be happy during crisis. We only choose not to, unconsciously, because we’ve been used to feeling this way during troubling times in the past. We’re only being victims of our conditioning.
If our thoughts does have impact on how we feel, then, we can influence our thoughts to create the feelings of happiness. Most people are aware of this. But feel guilty to practice it now.
Happiness is something desirable. It lightens up the room it is present; and beautifies the holder. I haven’t seen anyone more beautiful than when they’re expressing happiness.
You can be happy during this pandemic when you do not focus all your mind on the bad news like the media wants you to. You must understand that news casting is a business. Since bad news spreads faster, even good news are often suppressed. This means the situation may not be as bad as being spread. This is my opinion.
The worst that could happen is that you contract the virus. But you haven’t. Yet you are almost fainted like you already have. Even record of recoveries far exceeds the deaths. And doctors have explained how most deaths are mostly a result of co-morbidity.
On the other hand are those who fear for their jobs, businesses and future issues. They’re already unhappy for fear of losing these things after the pandemic. This is very valid.
However, we all have valid reasons to be unhappy almost all the time. Yet we choose to be happy while facing the problem. Why should now be different?
It is of no use worrying now for what haven’t happened yet. Because if it doesn’t show up in the future the way you have worried about it, you’d have denied your present the happiness it deserved.
Almost all of us have reasons to be sad this moment too. Some have lost their loved ones, some had half salary paid them, some self-employed people are spending now to take care of families while they haven’t had any new payment recently.
If we rant on about the bad situation, we may even be totally pressed down before the situation is over. So we have to choose the better way to deal with it through knowledge.
Do the little things for a start to your happiness. Live one day at a time first with your family who surrounds you. Since you haven’t contracted the virus, don’t act like you will, or you already have. Allow yourself breathe.
If you can, right where you are, take off your mind from too much analysis on what may or may not happen to the economy after this crisis. Focus should be on survival first. Because if you die before the end of this, you won’t see the changes that may, or may not happen after the pandemic. Why not take it one day at a time then? When tomorrow comes, you’ll deal.
Happiness isn’t what we experience in the absence of sadness. Happiness is more valuable in spite of sadness.
Being happy now would be because you have chosen to allow the little things amuse you. It will be as a result of intentionally focusing your gaze on those things and people in the present who means much to you.
You have so many options of things to do right now in order to boost your happiness hormones no matter how little it sounds.
You can dance, exercise, or take pleasure in a lover, or in the little things that you enjoy, in order to fill your body with the feel good hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins.
If you have kids, you can draw with them and get involved in their plays while at home. Children are a good example to learn from during crisis. They don’t analyse the situation too much into paralysis like we adults often do. There’s so much around us in our confinement to make us happy if we will desire it.
Seek happiness, especially during crisis. And you’ll find it.
Refuse to feel guilty about being happy when things are down. If you decide to be happy, it’s a choice you made – a good one.
When we’re happy, we feel more alive to fight and win our battles. If we agree that happiness contributes to inner strength, then we can say that crisis period should be when we seek happiness the most.
If we are advised to seek and we shall find, it means we can be happy during crisis period like now because we had sought for it in our hearts.
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