“Right believing would always bring about a right living, even in matters of mental health.” – Joy Iseki
All of us have certain beliefs about ourselves. We might not know them all consciously but we’re daily being governed through our beliefs about ourselves.
Our mental and emotional wellness isn’t left out of this influence of our self-beliefs.
What you believe about yourself might be part of the reasons you’re not experiencing emotional wellness at the moment.
Take for instance how certain emotions of guilt and shame affect us.
When you believe you’re guilty, you find ways to continue to act apologetically, and to make amends for your “wrongs.” Such mindset is part of the reasons some people would always act in self-sabotaging ways against themselves because they already have the beliefs that they deserve to be punished.
In similar ways, one who feels ashamed would constantly believe that something is wrong with him or that he’s wrong as a being. With this mindset comes all sorts of patterns that are self-hating and people-pleasing because he already believed he’s wrong at the core, and wants to always please others so that they love him. This makes him work hard in making others accept him because he’s “wrong” and not deserving of their love without much efforts.
It is quite difficult to experience mental wellbeing from these limiting beliefs about Self.
Yet these emotions are common among many people due to having such negative self beliefs about who they are.
These are rather unconscious patterns of behaviours that isn’t within their awareness though. But they might often not feel good about life for how they’re being mistreated, or how life continues to make them feel unhappy despite their many efforts at “doing” right, without the knowledge about how they contribute to this feedbacks with the beliefs they hold about themselves subconsciously.
Isn’t this familiar! I was a victim of this for many years of my life until I started to experience the awakening journey that made a huge difference in my mental wellbeing.
Unfortunately, not many people are
aware of this yet. We feel helpless about situations like this not knowing what to do right, when it is really about thinking right beliefs about ourselves first.
If you’re wondering how come you work so hard for happiness but don’t have it, It might be the negative beliefs about yourself, which is the self image you carry mentally, that is sabotaging your desires. Understanding this part can be the game changer in your quest for emotional and mental wellness.
When it comes to our psychological wellbeing, beliefs, especially those which we have about ourselves, is very important.
The right beliefs about ourselves can actually propel us into that realm of wellness we desire emotionally or inflict on us the psychological and emotional pains we truly don’t deserve.
When you think good thoughts about yourself, it will be from the place of the good beliefs you already hold about you. Since thoughts have a direct proportionate relationship with how we feel, it means you’ll feel good as well.
That, will empower you psychologically to boost your moods and wellness.
The right self image is from a place of the right beliefs about yourself, which have a positive influence on your self-worth. A healthy self-worth is always a gain to our mental, psychological and emotional wellbeing.
As simple as this might seem, it is one of the hardest things to do, given the fact that we’re surrounded with condemnations about ourselves most of the time, which doesn’t allow us the space to feel good about who we are.
Too many people had grown up in environments that had them already condemned psychologically about who they are than otherwise. Unfortunately, we carry this mindset throughout our lives unless for the few that experience an awakening journey.
One who feels already condemned would be in wait of an executioner. This is why you continue to act in self-sabotaging ways once you feel guilty or shamed. Because at the core, you feel deserving of the “punishments” just so your “wrongs” can be wiped out. What you don’t realize is the fact that despite all you’ve suffered already, you still haven’t believed the punishment is enough.
And your exceutioners do show up all the time in form of the people and places that mistreat you to confirm this belief you already have about ourselves.
This is no way excusing the unruly behaviour of some very “toxic” people in intentionally hurting others, of which you might have been a victim. No. It is to awaken your consciousness to insidious ways the self beliefs you have about yourself can become a self-fulfilling prophecy even in your mental wellness journey.
It’s now up to us as adults to nurture ourselves in a way that shows how much goodness we believe we truly deserve.
When you believe in good about yourself, you give yourself the permission to experience everything good. More so, you are quick to create a healthy boundary around yourself to protect you from the dangers that could be a threat to your mental wellbeing.
People who believe in good about themselves often have the courage for self preservation, and as such use the power within themselves to create a healthy mental boundary against predators of any kinds that might pose as threats to their desired peace and happiness.
This attitude becomes even more helpful when you realize those who often break boundaries are unconsciously unaware they are also at risk of losing their own self preservation. And when situations like this occurs, we’d need a courageous soul to save both ends because both the hurting and the hurt are in need of self preservation at that point.
It took me many years of mental growth to actually see how damaged those in the habits of hurting people really are. This helped me to forgive others their pain inflicted on me.
I’m of the opinion that we need be surrounded by the individuals who do not apologize about how good they think and feel about themselves. These are the most likely people who can teach us how to love our own lives by the way they show that they love theirs. That’s if we’re willing to take some learning from them!
When we’re surrounded by such persons, life’s a lot less dramatic. We do not have to second guess what’s on anyone’s mind, because they’re assertive enough to speak when required; we might also not be sentenced to the silent treatment of manipulations, just because someone feels bad about what we might have done unawares but isn’t honest enough to say where and how it hurts, but would rather choose to punish us for our “sins” quietly.
Most of these subtle behaviours are part of the contributors to some psych-ache we wrestle with by being in association with the individuals who project the terrible beliefs about themselves on us unawares; in the same way we suffer from believing wrongly that we don’t deserve good and therefore suffer bad vibes about ourselves.
Does this mean that having the right beliefs about yourself is all the requirement for one’s emotional and psychological wellbeing? Well, it mostly is!
If you already have that foundation of the right beliefs about yourself, it means your self image is correctly aligned with your divine self. This would have a better influence on how you think; what you dwell on in your mind about yourself, and the interpretations of the situations and people you find yourself with. These, are major players in our mental wellbeing.
Emotional wellness is mostly about thinking and feeling good anyway.
It’s quite difficult to think good thoughts and feel likewise if all you ever dwell on about yourself is how terrible you really are. Don’t we all hate it when somebody constantly treats us a particular way because of their biases against us? It’s the same way with Self. Your biases in this case are the beliefs.
It’s really important that we get this, especially if we’re serious about our mental health matters. Because most of your emotional instabilities stem from the most reoccurring thoughts that’s in your mind which is influencing how you feel about yourself.
Rarely can one be happier or more at peace than how they feel about themselves.
I’m now constantly advocating that we deal with the more fundamental issues about the kind of beliefs we actually hold about ourselves when it comes to emotional wellness, so that we can align with our desired mental health goal.
If the foundation, in this case the underlying beliefs impressed in our subconscious mind about ourselves, is not in congruence with how we want to feel, or to what we desire to experience realistically in our mental state, then it does no good “patching” the leakages. It’s best to visit that foundation and start healing from there first through right believing.
The work of right believing is a daily practice. We’re constantly evolving and being exposed to several environmental influences at the same time. This is where awareness becomes helpful to guide us through the different terrains at whatever phase we find ourselves in order to achieve our goal of mental wellness.
Self-awareness is helpful to recognize how the different environments and its peculiar beliefs impacts on our wellbeing. And with that comes our will to make choices of whether to remain in the status quo regardless of its implications on our wellbeing, or to take a stance and do the work required of us to achieve emotional wellness.
The more aware we are, the easier it is to intervene at every point we notice the deviations from the right beliefs that is helpful to our emotional wellbeing goals.
The first place to become aware is in understanding the core underlying beliefs about who we think we are, and how we feel about ourselves. From there comes most of the other things we do that then affects our mental wellbeing.
Identifying this isn’t difficult at all. It only requires you paying closer attention every time you feel the most problematic emotions, and to notice the moments it’s happening, the triggers and your response to the stimulus. This is self-awareness at play.
One thing is certain: the moment you start to believe good about yourself, the game changes in your mind already. And once the mind is renewed with right beliefs, and one start to internalize these beliefs until feeling is involved, the bodily change too start to happen. At that point, both the mind and body have become united in the goal of becoming mentally and emotionally well. That coherence between the two is the changing point for your mental health.