In our discussion on self-awareness, I did say that “Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals.” Self-awareness then depends on an understanding of your past and present self. Please refer to our posts on self awareness here. I have brought this up so we can easily relate with this discourse.
As a human being, you cannot define your future with a 100% certainty. Although it is true that in some way, some things may be predictable as regards your life based on your present habits, however there is that thin open line for probabilities of many other uncertainties. It is part of our humanity. How many times have the low risen and the high brought down? Countless..! And the reverse cases of the low becoming even worst year-in-and-out, while the high got stronger. That’s the reason we usually talk about the present and the past when it comes to self-awareness, because those are the states you’ve experienced and so aware of.
By becoming aware of yourself through an intentional relationship with self, you can gain insight into certain patterns around your life. What that does is help you better acquainted with your own life, thus drawing your personalities and traits of self closer to you; revealing some part of you that may not have been known to you prior.
This works in the same way that you get to know another person through proximity and intimacy of friendship. It’s no magic really.
How is this related with self-acceptance?
Being aware of who you have been, and coming to an understanding of who you are now through the discovery of self by self-awareness process, you would be able to see the different traits and characteristics that makes you who you are as a person. Both the good and bad. This can in some way lead to either of two things: 1) Owning the behaviour or 2) self-condemnation in areas not so noble to whom you are becoming. This is where self-acceptance comes in, and it is really important here, because it would be terrible to know what you feel bad about yourself for, and then to leave it there at that. Something has to fill up the vacuum from the new exposure. Otherwise this could become depressing.
What you’d have to do in this case is to first accept that although you are not proud of yourself this way, but it is who you are right now. That decision can wave off any self-defensive attitude that may arise and so help put your mind in a state where you are open to learn, unlearn and possibly relearn the new necessary habits.
Accepting that you’ve made a mistake is the best step to learning from the mistakes. Equally true is accepting your foolishness; which enables your mind to look for the wisdom you now need in order not to repeat such folly. Self-defense rarely help anyone grow because it is a form of ego that denies self the opportunity to accept blame for the wrong done.
What has this got to do with my acceptance of self?
Self-awareness brings you to the nakedness of your own true self. Then you accept that state, identify what must be done to replace the negative habits, appreciate the good; then you are able to make the move towards the necessary changes that must be done to make the amends for the weak holes. But without an analysis of self through self-awareness, you wouldn’t have known that these things were there in the first place. This is why building a self-confidence from “charm” alone can be faulty. True confidence is part of knowing who you are and being sure of your strength and weaknesses, while maximizing the strength and working on what’s weak. It is how we truly grow from the root downward, bearing fruits of a good self-image and real confidence that is not shakily built on our possessions of material things upward. Real self-confidence is having an accurate judgement of your true self.
None of us humans is fully all that we should be yet, nor anyone so perfect as to not have issues as regard who they are becoming. The key thing is to know what needs to be done so that you can be aware of areas that are most weak around you and requires work to be done; while maximizing your strength.
It will do you good therefore to be aware of this weaknesses, and appreciate your strengths as part of your humanity. Then begin the work on the not so good issues around your personalities. This work is a long term one though. So don’t be dismayed. I am also having to work on a lot here with mine. However, I wouldn’t want you to focus too much on your weaknesses alone.
You should as a matter of confidence, accept your strengths too and do all to showcase them. Yes, do show it, because people are constantly looking out for the shitty things we do, if you do not by yourself make known your strengths, no one will come to the rising of it. Self-acceptance then must be all encompassing and holistically applied.
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To your successfully evolving life.