What to do in the dry painful season


“The best people all have some kind of scar.”


Pain is unpleasant. Sometimes too unbearable even among the strongest of individuals. When people are experiencing difficult times that creates a form of emotional pain in their lives, most hurriedly find a way of escape, even without much thought of the after effect of such decision. Who can blame them? No one really wants pain!

Escapism has become the human shortcut to avoidance in a season they should have experienced. Some use excuses, substances, alcohol, excess work, busyness, complaints, denials and other coping mechanisms to try to run from what’s before them because of the pain that moment serves.

Should we be running from our painful dry seasons? Isn’t life in phases. If we do not experience all of the natural cycles of life, what would happen to our mental capacity towards challenges? What would we say are our lessons in life during the most difficult seasons?

As much as we try to avoid pain, it is inevitable that we will experience it, especially emotional pain from failure or dashed hopes in the dry season. Almost all things that happens to us becomes some form of emotions. This is mainly because of our nature as very emotional beings. So almost everything that happens to us becomes an emotional issue. Pain inclusive.

Life shows up in seasons. There’s a time when it would seem like everything is crumbling at us, because of the continued challenges from one end to another. This can be reckoned to the dry season of our life; when nothing seems to be growing other than from one negativity to another. It is usually times like this we are faced with very tough situations that can affect our emotions in our bid to survive the season. Thus causing us some emotional pain.

The dry season isn’t to kill us though. It is just one of those life’s cycle. It is a season necessary to happen before the fat and flourishing fruitfulness of the next season. More so, it signals the opportunity to actually utilize the stored up fruitfulness and abundance from the previous sucessful season. This is the time when we grow stronger by reason of use of those learnings and opportunities we had gathered in the last fruitfulness season.

My life changed when I understood life’s cycle this way. It helped my mental capacity to deal with very bad situations over time. Because I became aware of how no season is really permanent.

Imagine what would happen to us if all we had in life was just a season. Imagine the boredom, and the lack of the varieties that usually add spark to our lives.

When challenges come in the dry season, see it as the planting or incubation period. When the unpleasant moments in the dry season leads to heartbreak, job loss, illness, breakdown, or even a divorce, don’t give up on only that season. Be aware that another season would soon come. I know this is easier said but it’s the truth. No season in life is permanent. Never have been. In as much as we love the fruitfulness of the harvesting season, a time would come again to plant the seeds that grows to become the harvest we are currently happy about. That time is mostly the dry season. And it is necessary we go through it.

When a seed is planted, it would usually look like nothing is happening for the first few days or weeks underneath, until the time of its first shooting out after the rain had beaten on it. That period just between the planting and its first obvious sprout can seem the longest waiting period of our life. Yet something had been happening underground even though we didn’t see it. That’s how many challenging periods seem. It would look like hope is lost until the next boom.

Take plants for instance. They grow their roots deeper into the ground during the dry season to search for water. In doing so, they grow deeper roots underground to withstand the difficulties in that period before the rainfall. This makes them stronger and able to flourish. The ones who cannot do this dry out before the wet season without bearing fruits. Be like the fruitful plant. Maximize the difficult seasons to grow deeper and sound in preparation for the fruitfulness season. This will determine how long your fruits would last, and also its impact.

Whether we really want it or not, a season of dryness will come to us, if we don’t go into it. Life is in seasons. And every season is for a purpose. When we understand this life cycle, we do not by ourselves contribute to its longer stay at a spot by our own display of negative energy during its time. Rather, we allow its natural phase and move on with it.

I’ve met some people who had ignorantly prolonged their dry season than they should have because they didn’t know how to manage the pain caused by the challenges. In trying to avoid the disappointment felt in that dry season of their lives, they had prolonged the issues further than it should have. I was once in this shoe too. I had thought then that pain was a dread and something we must never allow to happen to us. The struggle only made the season longer than it should have stayed. Don’t be like that. Be the one that understands the seasonal changes of life, and how you cannot have it all rosy all the time. Neither all dry, always. Come to think of it, even roses have thorns. The thorns make it even more beautiful and firmer. The same way, our challenges can make us stronger and tougher to survive triumphantly in life. They can add the colours that makes our life more beautiful than the ordinary.

What makes the difference in our experiences with these different seasons is in our approach towards it. If you see the difficult moment as a time of growth and of building inner capabilities for life’s issues, you’d maximize it to that effect. Otherwise, you’d waste it in complaining and murmuring which may not add any value to you for that season. These complaining lots usually get destroyed.

This isn’t to despise your pain in the difficult time of your life. Or to make it as unimportant at all. It is to help you see that you’re not in the dry season alone. All of us experience it. The pain is very normal to feel, and also a gift in the long term when the experiences gathered during the time becomes wisdom applicable to your life and to that of others coming into the dry season after you.

In the interim, allow the process. Do not give up on yourself this dry season, no matter how much you really want to avoid it. This phase will soon be over, and another would set in when you’d need the memories of this dry season to savour your triumph over it during the change in seasons. Don’t deny yourself that pleasure in the future by avoiding the painful challenging experiences of this dry season now.

To your healing, fulfillment and love.

Joy Iseki


P. S. To book the author to speak, train, or to book personal sessions please send mail to thekounsellor@gmail.com or see the Contact Me tab.

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