Since focusing on authenticity, and having to mentor individuals on embracing who they are, of one big notice to me have been how many people know who they are already, but fear expressing it. Their real challenge is accepting their authenticity, not that they are not aware of it; at least for the ones I know. The reason? They don’t want to seem odd. They would rather have the label of seeming humble, even though not humble, than express the truth about who they are. Since our society has reckoned humility with conformity, they do not want to redefine it, correctly. They would rather settle. urgh!

For the few who may be bold enough to express who they are, they are usually labelled as proud, arrogant, or rebels. If you live in Nigeria, you should be able to relate with this quite well. The unfortunate thing about these people is how they may somehow personalize these labels from the people who themselves can’t hold their breath. I guess we are just too afraid of nothing.

For a long time, I fell in the latter category. Having the idea that I didn’t just fit-in, as much as I tried, yet, never able to face it. I was aware of my own unique personality. The problem however was the labeling I didn’t want to bear. I feared being considered all those names just because I wanted to live life in the way I found it more at peace with my own soul. And you know what I did? I would hide my opinions about issues, and try to agree with the usual “you’ve said it all” garbage!” just so that I could avoid saying what was so obvious, but being denied.

For those years, I felt caged in my own habitat; saying I had a life, yet never really living. And how much I lost to those awkward piety! You may never know the cost of not being yourself, unless you know why you should live out your authenticity.

When I finally made up my mind to live the life I found true to who I am, then I saw why too many preferred to just conform to the general ways; it’s much easier! There are no obstacles along that path, no troubles. You just be a zombie, that’s all.

Yet, without establishing your own identity, you stand lost in an already crowded world. While you may think the path of least resistant suits you best because of the “troubles” you are trying to avoid, yet, same road does present the worst trouble of existing but never really living. You don’t want to come to the end of your life and have to face those lumps of regret. Live your life.

It might interest you to know that those who do not want you to be yourself may be doing so because of their own complex. Some may be your bosses at work who threaten you with the impression of being sacked for telling it the way it is. It is not about you; it’s more about their own incompetence, and lack of confidence in who they are. But since you would rather lose your identity, than the fear of losing the job you don’t really have, you may have to live the life of a puppet then. It suits your choice anyways!

“Always be yourself because everyone else is already taken.” How many times do we hear these words! It has almost lost its meaning because of its common use even by those who know within their heart that they aren’t being themselves. Like the quotes rightly says, it is true that everyone else is already taken, because we are all created uniquely. Everything about us does show our individual differences, and preferences to things. It is the reason two people might be saying the same thing, but we may hear it differently, because they are not the same. Yet, within that difference is our common humanity. That is where we hold the common ground.

You see, when you try to live the general life because of your fear of what people have to say about you, you end up losing exactly the life you are trying not to lose. Because opinions change. Those who may be liking you now for belonging, may not likely do so in the distant future. We all have been there too; where we liked a particular person for some reasons, and over time, as we grew more matured and had more views about life, we began to question our likeness for them. Don’t think it would be any different for you, either.

You must know that at the end of it all you stand to lose nothing by living your life in the terms that agrees with your soul’s desires for you, than any other. You weren’t sent to the world. Not everyone has to accept your views about any thing. Remember that.

What more way to enjoy tranquility than the assurance you have of your soul being in congruence with who you are becoming? Be yourself.  Yet they will become mad at you for taking the bold stance to be you, which they couldn’t do. Their anger is about their own failures to embrace their own authenticity; it isn’t about you. Ignore them.

For the influencers who tried at making you a conformist to their own ways, their pain against you for embracing your own path, may not be because they hate you, even though they show much disdain against your stance. Their likely anger would be how they didn’t succeed at making you conform like the rest of others. That my friend, is where the line is drawn against you. They hate the courage you show at being yourself, and may not stop at trying to use all sorts of malicious words against that your act of deference of their own mediocrity. Your work then is to develop a very thick skin to whatever propaganda is being used against you, knowing fully well what their sorrow is. However, to be yourself, you must be.

True freedom is being able to live the life that is in alignment with your soul’s desires. Not the one anyone promises you, or try to make out for you. You have a life too, don’t you? Fight the good fight to live your life.

If settling to a hut in the village is your cravings, or your idea of what success would mean to you, then do it all with all the beauty and courage of a believer. And if building a castle in the moon with the one you love is the expression of your soul, go for it with all that it’s worth. If you don’t, what then do you live for, anyway? Absolutely nothing..

So many people have internal issues with themselves because they settled. They settled for the opinions of other people. They settled to have the easier path. They settled not to be a troublemaker in anybody’s eyes, while they make troubles against their own souls; so they conformed as a result. You shouldn’t settle, my friend. You should make the decision to express what life means to you by the way you live it.

The one who wants to be the leader, or the visionary knows that he cannot afford not to follow the path of his individuality. It is this act that sets him apart, and makes him easily distinguishable among his peers. While more people may choose the path of conformity, this unique soul, who has expressed enough courage in embracing his own path enjoys the benefits of being admired in the long run, for the boldness not to walk the road easily travelled by the zombie masses. The returns is the likelihood to command the new army of the common men. Look through history, rarely anyone established who almost didn’t have to embrace his own path of accepting his true worth as an individual. The awareness of who he is may have been the only reason he now commands those who need to be lead before they can live. He, once despised, has become the teacher. Live your younique life!

When you are being yourself, you attract the right persons into your life, without much drama. You are able to truly understand what’s important to you, and the things that aren’t. You become free to express your voice for what matters to you, thus attracting the likes of your kind in that domain. It is much more a calmer lifestyle to live, especially if like me, you just hate the unnecessary dramas and pretenses some people carry along with them.

You have to make up your mind that you want to live, before you can embrace your individuality. Personally, I got pissed growing up, and seeing most people living life just the same; with many not having any idea why they were even repeating some routines they saw those before them practiced. They were comfortable with the way “it has always been!” And when you came in questioning the acts, just so you can have real understanding why it is being done, in order to make use of the awareness for an informed decision about that thing, you are immediately seen as the rebel. Because you have dared awaken the fear they try to cover up in trying to belong. “Who are you? They roared. Barking, but never able to bite. Don’t be afraid. Life is for the courageous.

It is important you realize that as long as you are happy with the path you have chosen, and you are fully aware that it’s the one your soul desires, then you are good to go. Don’t worry if you are despised in the beginning. Don’t bother yourself about the voices trying to shut you up. You follow up with your soul’s call. In time, they will come to your rising. Your goal is to embrace who you are, and live your younique life. Remember everyone else is already taken!

For further discussion, questions, speaking engagements, or personal coaching experience on this topic, please use the Contact Me tab to reach the author. To purchase the author’s books using your bank cards, use the Shop Tab on this website. For comments, kindly post in the comment section below.

To your evolving life,

Joy Iseki

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